Final Answer?

     A little over a month ago, longtime television personality Regis Philbin passed away. While Philbin holds the world record for most hours on U.S. television, there is one particular game show that I most fondly remember him for: Who Wants to Be a Millionaire (as a fun throwback, my family had a CD Rom of the game that we'd sometimes play). Over the course of Philbin's tenure as the host, there was one trademark phrase he'd ask contestants as they made a decision: "Is that your final answer?" The question would often be asked for clarification or as time ran down. Nonetheless, once the contestant said "final answer", their decision had been made -- good or bad.

    While Regis Philbin never asked me that question, I have certainly asked myself that question countless times. A lot of times, that has occurred (but is not limited to) taking tests and exams. Before I'd turn in or submit a test, I would often review my answers (time permitting) to double-check myself. While it is good to review one's answers, there were times where this would  lead to me second-guessing myself and my answers. Is A really my final answer? Am I truly sure that A is correct and not C? Should I change my answer? In some instances, I had the right answer...only to second-guess myself and change my answer to a wrong one. This would frustrate me because I had the correct answer but let my thoughts and doubts get the best of me. If I had just moved on or not second-guessed myself, I would have received a higher grade.

    It is said that when taking tests, you should go with your first answer because it is probably the right answer. After all, there is a reason that you went with that answer to begin with. When I think back to my time in high school and college, second-guessing myself and changing my answer seemed to backfire most of the time. So why did I keep second-guessing myself? And while I am no longer in school, why do second-guessing and over thinking give me trouble today?

    To start, I am a perfectionist. When I would take a test, I didn't just want an A -- I wanted a 100. I wanted to perfect. If I came across an answer that I hadn't been so sure about, I would ask myself if I really wanted to stick with that answer. After all, if I got that question wrong, I'd be mad at myself for not changing answers. And even when second-guessing backfired, I would convince myself that this time would be different. This would be the answer change that benefits me, even if there wasn't any real reason to believe that. 

    Second-guessing still gives me trouble today because I tend to over think everything, even simple tasks like choosing which movie to watch or choosing which oranges to buy. When I'm not dead-set on what I want to do, I can get indecisive. I don't like making "wrong" decisions, so I analyze and assess as much as I can. This, of course, can be to a fault. Decisions do have to be reached in a timely manner. I can't spend my Saturday morning inspecting and eyeballing each orange, potato, and crown of broccoli (and given COVID, you really have to be careful about grocery shopping). Ten minutes spent figuring out which movie to watch is ten minutes I could have spent relaxing and enjoying Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. 

    Another reason second-guessing can get the best of me today comes from seeking advice. When faced with a big decision, I may consult a few trusted family members or friends. In some instances, two people may give completely different advice (i.e. "You should/should not take this job"). The decision is ultimately up to me, but outside advice can lead to second-guessing on my end. You have to be careful with outside advice so that you don't receive too many opinions and perspectives. Generally speaking, there is a value to some outside advice for life's important decisions, including prayer. 

    As an over thinker, a common piece of advice I will receive from others is to not worry so much or stop second-guessing myself. Although this advice is given out of love and for the right reasons, being told not to worry or to stop over thinking isn't really helpful in the moment. If anything, this can escalate feelings of anxiety because it makes me more nervous and aware of the issue. Listening, talking things through, and/or finding other ways to take a step back are more helpful. 

    A few weeks ago, I wrote down a few Bible verses that reference anxiety. Although these verses alone aren't a cure-all, they have been good (and sometimes convicting) reminders. In Jesus' Sermon on the Mount, He specifically tells the crowd to not be anxious - about life, food, drink, clothes, or tomorrow (Matthew 6: 25, 34). He also asks "and which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?" (Matthew 6:27) That verse has served as a convicting reminder for me; anxiety won't help me or add anything to my life. And if Jesus told His audience not to be anxious, I should live that out myself. 

    One verse from Proverbs I heard a few months ago across sums up anxiety well: "anxiety in a man's heart weighs him down, but a good word makes him glad" (Proverbs 12:25). Anxiety and over thinking bring you down (and as Jesus mentioned, aren't productive). No one wants to be weighed down by anxiety, but anxiety isn't something that's easily shaken. 

    Paul's letter to the Philippians provides an action in place of anxiety. Philippians 4:6 reads "do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God". Prayer is a great outlet when faced with anxiety. God knows when we're struggling with it and wants to hear from us. He wants us to live our lives with thanksgiving, not anxiety and over thinking. 

    To close, I want to have more peace and calmness in my life, even if we're living in uncertain times. Learning to let go of anxiety, over thinking, and second-guessing isn't an overnight process. I know it's something that will take time (especially given that we're in a pandemic), but I know that God will lead me through it. He is in control no matter what the circumstances are. That's my final answer. And it's one that I'm not over thinking or second-guessing.