Winning By Losing

     Growing up, Labor Day was never my favorite holiday -- mainly because it marked the end of summer vacation. The day after Labor Day was always the first day of school. Naturally, when the calendar inevitably rolled around to the first Monday in September, there was a sense of sadness. It felt like I was losing not just summer, but the freedom and joy that comes with it. That sense of loss was heightened as I got older, as this meant diving straight in to homework the first week of school.

     Now, in the grand scheme of things, going back to school is a fairly trivial "loss". For some, it's even considered a "win" (especially for parents). Still, it can be hard to find joy in losing - whether that's losing a game, losing money, losing one's job, losing friends, and so on. There's a reason that there's an "everyone's a winner" culture and not an "everyone's a loser" culture. Everyone wants to be a winner, not a loser. After all, losing means being defeated or deprived of something. No one wants to continually experience that. But what if the key to winning is by first losing? 

     On the surface, it's counterintuitive to suggest that the key to winning is losing. That's the equivalent of telling someone that the key to happiness is sadness. However, what I've learned over the past few years is that sometimes the only way for us to truly experience winning or to reach "mountaintops" is by first losing or going through "valleys". But why is that? Why do have to lose in order to win? Well, the answer is complicated. 

     One thing that losing does to us is it gives us a healthy dose of humility. The same can be said for pain and suffering. It's a lot more humbling to come home to a wet, flooded apartment than it is to to come home to a dry, clean apartment. It's a lot more painful to be lying down on the floor heartbroken than it is to be lying down on the couch delighted. As painful and rough as losing can be, it also has a way of giving us a new perspective on life. It can open our eyes to joys we may have been taken for granted - or not even noticed at all.

     Losing presents us with a way to learn and gain valuable experience. I'll be the first to admit that I've learned more when I've lost than when I've won. When I win or things are going well, it's easy for me to say that whatever I'm doing is working and not to deviate from that. But when that happens, when success comes naturally or effortlessly, there's not really a whole lot of learning taking place. To be clear, this isn't to say that we should sabotage our successes just so we can learn more. That's self-inflicted pain. Another way to put it: if one's taking a test and knows what the correct answers are, answering incorrectly on purpose would be foolish and wouldn't lead to any learning. Conversely, losing forces us to take a look at what we did and why it didn't work. Losing is where we learn what we did wrong, why it was wrong, and what we can do differently. If what transpired was out of our control, we gain experience with how to handle those trials and struggles.

     With losing, we can gain humility, perspective, experience, and learning. There's also one other thing, one big thing, that losing can achieve as well: losing draws us closer to God. There's a Laura Story song I really enjoy called "Blessings", where the chorus talks about how sometimes life's blessings and healing comes through pain, through tears, and through trials. It's interesting how trials, pain, and tears are what draws us the closest and nearest to God. I once heard a pastor remark that the Bible is filled with more suffering than joy. Job lost a lot over the course of his life. Joseph was sold by his brothers and later imprisoned for a crime he didn't commit. The Israelites endured slavery. Apostles such as Paul, Peter, and Stephen were stoned, beaten, imprisoned, and ultimately martyred. And of course, Jesus Christ lived the perfect life but endured unimaginable suffering on trial and on the Cross for our own sins and transgressions. There's a lot of suffering in Scripture, but we can take solace in knowing that in the end, God is victorious. Jesus told his disciples to take heart, for He as overcome the world (John 16:33). Psalm 30:5 mentions that there may be pain in the night, but joy comes in the morning. 

     When the path to winning first means losing, winning takes on a new perspective. Winning's a lot sweeter when we think about all that it took and all that we endured to get there. LeBron James certainly felt that way after he led the Cleveland Cavaliers to their first ever title in 2016 (and the city of Cleveland's first title in over 50 years). Winning's more enjoyable when we have to overcome something. Without overcoming, it doesn't feel like as much of an accomplishment. When I reflect on where I am today, it really is humbling to think about all that I've had to endure and go through to get here. It makes it all the more rewarding, too. There are some trials and struggles I've faced that I wish I didn't have to go through. There's others that to this day, I don't know why I had to go through them - and I probably never will know why in this lifetime. And I know that there will inevitably more trials and struggles in this lifetime. However, I can take heart in knowing that Christ is victorious and that trials I inevitably endure will prepare me for what's to come. 

     To close, I'm reminded by a Bible verse about losing. When Jesus is sending out His disciples to preach and live out the Gospel, He warns them about what it means: giving up their lives for Him. Matthew 10:39 reads "Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it". The cost of following Christ means losing our lives for His sake. In the process, we gain so much more, more than we'll ever be able to comprehend in this life. The only way to truly experience the joy of winning is by first experiencing the pain of losing.